


tipping point

by natsunodilemma



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Angst?, First Person, Lots of Crying, M/M, banri has a lot of emotional baggage, ventfic, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23701159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natsunodilemma/pseuds/natsunodilemma
Summary: banri’s facade breaks and he talks about his feelings for once.
Relationships: Hyoudou Juuza/Settsu Banri
Comments: 3
Kudos: 82





	tipping point

**Author's Note:**

> op write more than 1.6k words challenge (spoiler alert i cant)

“You should come meet my parents soon.” Juza said to me as if he was just talking about the weather. I should’ve seen this coming, we’re not two dumb teens holding hands under the table anymore. I’ve been dating Juza for more than a year now, of course he’d want me to meet his parents. 

I should be excited, but all I feel is dread and anxiety. I’m not scared of the Hyodos. I’m scared of the Hyodo sitting next to me in our shared dorm room, his arm around me as he bites down on yet another chocolate bar. 

All my life I’ve formed these fake, two dimensional relationships with fuckers who never really gave a shit about me, and I couldn’t give a shit about them either. To them, I was just a status boost. I’m their “popular friend.” Nothing more than that.

Fast forward to the present. Things are better, way better. I care about the guys in Mankai and they care about me. I shouldn’t keep feeling like it’s all a joke, like I’m nothing but some dude they have to room and work with. I know I’m not, but the thought crosses my mind more than I'd like it to. 

It’s all so painfully real. Juza wants me to meet his family, and he probably wants to get married someday, but it’s too good to be true. 

I was so lost in thought I didn’t even notice Juza nudging me. 

“Oi, Settsu. You doin’ okay?”

I turn and shoot him a pathetically weak smile. “Yeah.”

His face shifts to a more concerned expression, he kinda looks like Omi-

“No, you’re not. What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing! Nothing at all, just go back to eating your tooth rotting sweets or whatever.” I lie to him. It’s like I’m proving to him that I really am a shitty partner. When’s he gonna quit putting up with me?

To my surprise, he turns me around so that we’re facing each other. His eyes are intense yet gentle with concern. “Bullshit. I wanna know what’s bothering you.” He puts his hand on my knee. “I’m here for you, you know that right?”

I can't take it anymore. I slap his hand off my knee and snap. “How do I know that? How do I know you’re not gonna get tired of me and leave like everyone before you did?” My face feels hot and I feel a lump in my throat. “You’re... You’re too good, Hyodo. Quit putting so much damn effort into me.” A warm tear trickles down my cheek. 

His eyes widen and he looks like a deer in the headlights. A pang of guilt emerges in my chest. His gaze shifts down to my shaky hands and without a word, he places my hands in his. 

“Settsu.” He starts. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, fuck,” My voice cracks as more tears flow. “Look at you, look at me. You’re a sincere, honest and down-to-earth guy and I’m just… I’m just nothing.” I pull my hands away from his and bury my face in my own, “I’m fucking nothing.” 

It’s clear Juza doesn’t know what to say. I mean, who would? Maybe he’s finally coming to his senses and seeing me for who, or what, I really am. Good for him, get out of this while he still can. Slowly and gently he pulls my face out of my hands, brushing my disheveled bangs to the side. Cupping my face in his own calloused hands, he gulps before saying. “You’re not nothing, you’re something.” My cheeks heat up and I want to scream. I open my mouth to say something but he cuts me off.

“I think I know where you’re coming from. You think this is all too good to be true, right?”

“...Yeah.”

“I do too.”

Now I’m the dumbfounded one. My indigo eyes widen and meet his passionate gold. 

“Before I joined the troupe, I didn’t think I’d ever make real friends. I always got the cold shoulder, no one cared to see who I really was.” His eyes gloss over with tears and my heart breaks a little. “Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d find someone like you, Banri.”

“So please, don’t sell yourself short.”

A few tears slide down Juza’s face, and I don’t know what to do. Instinctively, I put my hand on his cheek, wiping a tear away with my thumb.

“Maybe our past struggles are more similar than we thought.” He puts his hand over mine on his face and glances at it. “I won’t pry, though. I know you don’t like talking about your past.” 

“I’ll tell you.” I slide my hand off his face to clasp them together.”It’s about time I get this all off my chest.” I close my eyes, then sigh as I look down at my shaky hands. It’s gonna be a long night.

“High school wasn’t fun. People think I had a great time ‘cause I’m some kind of delinquent or party boy, but that’s far from the truth. Sure, I was popular, I got confessed to pretty often and guys would follow me around like they were some kind of shitty entourage, but it didn’t mean anything. None of them cared about Banri Settsu. They only wanted to see Banri “Super Ultra Easy Mode” Settsu. So I, craving the attention I never got at home, let them have it. If they wanted to see a cocky and arrogant dipshit, I let them have it. “Super Ultra Easy Mode” became my crutch, my mask.” 

“Every relationship I made in high school was fake and for a while, I believed that every relationship I’d form would be the same: Superficial.”

“It’s my own damn fault I got stuck in that. I’m nothing beneath the mask I’ve made for myself.”

“That…” I pause and my breath hitches. “That all changed when I joined the company. I don’t know what happened, I just felt like I could let my guard down. And I did.” I laugh. “It felt fucking great. You and the rest of them.. You’re the first ones to let me be, yknow, me. I don’t know where I’d be without you.” I stop laughing and my gaze shifts back down to my hands that are now intertwined with his

“Still I just can’t believe this. I really can’t. When I’m all alone, I keep thinking that one day you’ll all realize that Banri isn’t worth your time and find someone else to take my place. I’m replaceable.” 

I grab Juza’s shoulders on impulse and startle him. His tears have dried and he stares at me with wide, concerned eyes. Looking down I blubber out, “But I don’t want to be alone anymore. I don’t want to be alone again, Juza..!” The tears just keep flowing and eyes are puffy and gross from crying, but I don’t care. Neither does he, apparently, as all he does is wrap his arms around me and pull me close. “It’s alright, Settsu, it’s alright.” He whispers before taking a deep breath in.

“I don’t know how many times I’m gonna have to tell you this, but honestly, I don’t care.” He moves so that we’re staring each other down. “I promise I won’t leave you.”

“How do I-“ I try to push him back, but he grabs my wrist and stops me.

“I won’t leave you.”

“St-“ 

“I love you. I won’t leave you.”

I’m at a loss of words. He.. He really means it. For the first time in my life, someone’s promising not to abandon me. It feels like a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders and all I can do is… cry. 

Somehow Hyodo always knows how to comfort me, hugging me tightly as I sob into his shoulder, weakly mumbling “I love you” over and over again.

We stay like that for a while until Juza let’s go and makes his way to standing up. I look up at him, my tears hardly dried. “W-where are you going?”

“Bed, it’s almost 1am.”

Oh. I don’t say anything, just nod and make my way to his bed. We’ve been sharing beds for a while, so this was all normal. But tonight, Juza’s bed feels warmer and more..comforting. He slides into bed next to me and tucks my hair behind my ear, revealing my piercings.

It’s dark, the lights are off, but I can make out a faint smile on his face. 

“What’s the smile for?”

“‘I just really like you. Night.” He says before placing a kiss on my forehead.

“Mnmm.” I mutter, nuzzling into Juza’s arms. “Love you.”

He’s already asleep before I can say anything else. I wanted to thank him, but there’s no rush - we won’t be leaving each other anytime soon (or ever).

When I first joined Mankai Company, it was all to beat Juza once for all. I never, not even for a second, thought the guy I was so dead set on beating would end up being my partner. My partner who truly understands me, whom I couldn’t be more grateful for. 

So… Thanks, Hyodo.

**Author's Note:**

> so this is a pretty personal fic (a ventfic?). banri is a very relatable and important character to me and the situation in this fic was essentially what i wanted but never got from a relationship.   
> writing this sort of helped me put the past behind me and move on. one day i’ll have someone like juza, it’ll just take time :)


End file.
